Muted Masculinity | Aditya's Newsletter
Post-MeToo, not every man is a monster. But every boy is learning what that means.
Aditya’s Newsletter | Editorial | May 2025
In the age of heightened gender discourse, masculinity has been rendered suspect before it is understood.
All Men Are Guilty, Until...
We are told not to generalise, but in public discourse, men are often cast under a single silhouette—predator, oppressor, privileged.
What happens when you're none of these, but you carry the weight of them?
Every time a boy walks into a co-ed workspace, he's taught caution, not trust. Every time a young man voices discomfort about being labelled, he's accused of fragility.
“Listen, not all men, but you benefit from the system.”
Yes. But must that negate my individual humanity?
The Feminisation of Moral Authority
In the evolving gender discourse, women rightfully reclaimed space. But somewhere along the line, the moral compass was painted pink.
Empathy, safety, sensitivity—these became feminine virtues.
Which left young men with a strange binary: perform performative allyship or shut up.
Where do genuine, questioning, fallible men go?
“He must have done something.”
That sentence, said in passing, has ended careers and suicides. This is not to invalidate victims. But to widen the lens of justice.
When Masculinity Becomes Muted
We critique toxic masculinity, as we should. But are we building alternatives, or just deleting identities?
Masculinity isn’t just dominance. It’s protection. Stability. Tenderness. But we rarely say that anymore.
In being told to be less of a man, boys are told nothing about what to be instead.
This vacuum breeds confusion, then resentment, then online extremism. And we wonder where it comes from.
The Price of Presumption
Consider this:
A boy falsely accused in college. Cleared after months. Reputation never recovers.
A man passed over for leadership because he's seen as 'too intense.'
A husband accused online with no trial, no rebuttal, no recourse.
These are not exceptions. They are growing footnotes in male lives.
We talk about due process in theory. But in social judgment, men are guilty first, questioned later.
What Now, For Us?
We don't need to reclaim power. We need to reclaim presence.
Listen without guilt. Speak without fear.
Be emotional, but not apologetic.
Mentor boys with clarity, not confusion.
The future isn't matriarchal or patriarchal. It's human.
And men must have a seat at that table—not as suspects or saviors. Just as people.
Not all men, yes. But all boys are watching. What we teach them now will define the gender story for the next century.
